Honeysuckle Nights

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

I will never be accused of being called a Gardener.

Whereas there are those born with green thumbs and under their attentive care, they can coast even the most reluctant plant to grow, I am not one of them. My thumb is brown and if ever someone could kill a cactus, well it would be me.

Its not that I don’t like plants or enjoy the natural beauty that flowers automatically lend to any environment, but its just that I don’t really enjoy the work and care that goes into helping them to grow and stay healthy. Sad, but true. And although I know I could improve the outside decor of my home by adding plants and flowers to bring character and charm to my yard, in spite of my good intentions, it never seems to happen.

But tonight as I sat on my porch, I caught a whiff of the most aromatic fragrance that had ever tantalized my nose and it caused my mind to move in a new direction not just for my yard, but for my life.

The scent that caught my attention was the unmistakable scent of honeysuckle. To me there’s  no sweeter scent to enjoy on a cool summer night than that of honeysuckle as it rides the evening wind and becomes one with the night air. Glorious indeed!

But as I thought about the honeysuckle lying in thick vines along my back fence, I couldn’t help but also think about the many weeds and overgrown brush that also resides in my backyard. I keep telling myself I’m going to hire someone to remove all of the weeds and overgrown brush around my house, but somehow it keeps moving further and further down on my to-do list of projects for the house and it never gets done. 

 In the meantime, the weeds continue to grow at an alarming rate and unfortunately they also outnumber anything of beauty that would dare to grow around my yard.

And I realized that not only are these weeds growing fast and overtaking the yard and house, but they were also doing some other damage. For as long as I allowed them to continue to grow, and be the yard bullies that they are, they will continue to steal from and deprive much needed space and nutrients for the honeysuckle and other things that were planted to add beauty to the world around them.

Allowed to continue to grow, they’ll continue to disguise themselves as harmless plants or even small trees or bushes. They will continue to invade space that was not intended for them. Like silent thieves little by little,  they will continue to steal what does not belong to them as though they had a right to grow there.

And as I reflected on the weeds in my yard, my mind turned to the weeds in my life. Those things that cover up or hide those things God created in me meant to add something to the world around me. Those things that threaten to overtake my creativity or silence my creative voice. Those silent weeds that little by little and over time have invaded spaces in my life that God never intended them to occupy.

And so sitting in my moment with God, enjoying my honeysuckle scented night, together God and I identified some of my weeds. And unlike the weeds in my yard that I have allowed to grow and thrive, I don’t plan to let these weeds get pushed down on my life’s to-do list for another moment.

But armed with my faith and the other tools God has handed me, I plan to start weeding out the weeds of my life so that like the honeysuckle, I too might lend myself to the world as a thing of creative beauty. For I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And God never intended for anything, weed or person to overshadow who He created me to be.

I may never be a gardener or enjoy outside yard work, this is true. But perhaps as I turn to the true Gardener of my own life, and allow Him access to those weed filled areas of my life, I will become inspired to do the same with my yard and the world around me.

The Trees

I like trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do.  ~Willa Cather 1913

The other morning while enjoying a quiet moment on my porch, I happened to take notice of the two rather large trees that stand in my front yard. Exactly what kind of trees they are, I’m not sure as I am not an expert on trees or their names.

But as I sat looking at these two trees, I began to notice things about them I’d not taken note of before.  Like for instance how just a few months ago both trees had been leafless and by all appearances dead to the world.  Yet now they stood covered in leaf after leaf of the most vibrant shade of green one could ever imagine. Their limbs were once again strong and a place of refuge for birds and squirrels alike and anything else that had need of it.

No matter the conditions they stood in such as rain, snow, heat, or cold they stood none the less still as trees. They endured situation after situation always the same. As trees.

And on that quiet morning as I sat looking out at those two trees, I learned something so simple, I almost missed it. Those two trees weren’t trying to become trees, they were simply being who they already were. They were being what they were created to be.

Trees.

No matter what the season, they still stood as trees. No matter their condition nor circumstances, they still stood as trees. No matter what they looked like on the outside, they still stood as trees. No matter what they were surrounded by, they still stood as trees. No matter that I didn’t know their tree names, they still stood as trees.

Nothing disqualified them for being what they were. No season, no circumstance nor appearances. They were created to be trees, and they stayed true to that always.

That morning two ordinary, nameless trees taught me something I needed to know. For in being what they were created to be, they silently gave me permission to do the same.

Grateful

This morning as I stepped up on the bus to begin my morning commute into work, the driver welcomed me aboard and asked how I was doing.

“Good,” I replied.

While taking my seat, I made eye contact with another passenger and she too inquired after my well being. And again I heard myself reply, “Good.”

But as I settled into my seat, a small voice asked “Are you really good?”  Both times my response had been automatic. Without much thought I had responded as I had many times before. After all these people were strangers to me, surely they wouldn’t want to hear how I was really feeling.

Would they?

And whenever I asked that same question of someone, “How you doing?”, do I really stop to wait for their response or do I assume that they too are “good” and move on even before their response has left their lips?

But as the bus pulled into downtown where I work, I saw something that helped me to realize just how “good” I wasn’t.

He lay on the ground covered up in an old, thin blanket. The boots that covered his feet had come from better days and his toes protested as they were greeted by the morning wind. Beneath his head an old duffel bag served as his pillow, and lying beside him laid brown plastic bags that no doubt held his life’s possessions. Oblivious to the traffic and people passing by, he slept on his bed of concrete with the contentment of a well fed baby.

And I realized that there by the grace of God go I. For how easily it could have been me lying there.

It was through no goodness of my own thay my blessings weren’t hidden in plastic bags, but they were too many to count. It was not because I had been so good that goodness had been shown to me. And it wasn’t good that should tell those who ask how I was doing.

On my way into the building where I worked, I was welcomed by a fellow co-worker who greeted me with a warm “Good morning, how are you?”

Without hesistation I replied, “Grateful.”

A Master’s Heart

Since I was a youngster I’ve loved dogs.

Big dogs, little dogs, young dogs, old dogs, cute fluffly dogs, cute hairless dogs . I love them all. Dogs truly do have a special place within my heart, and I’ve been blessed to have shared both my heart and home with some truly amazing dogs. 

As a pet owner I’ve learned a lot over the years. Things like responsibiity,  patience, how to love something outside of my own selfish needs. The list goes on and on. And every now and then God even uses them to teach me those lessons that could only come from the heart of a true Master.

Take the other morning for example.

Libby, my feisty,  hyperactive terrier mix wanted to play. The fact that I was getting ready for work and probably had little or no time to stop and play, never entered her mind. In her world its always a good time to play.

Laying one of her most prized squeeky toys at my feet,  she anxiously waited with tail wagging and eyes dancing for me to throw it. Being a little impatient with her, I quickly told her “Not now Libby”, and continued preparing for my day.

But Libby not to be outdone, tried again. Again she laid her toy at my feet.  And again I told her, “Not now Libby”, with more than a little irritation in my voice.

But Libby still not to be out done by my attitude, tried again. Again she laid her toy at my feet, and waited for me to begin our morning game of fetch. And this time as I looked into her pleading brown eyes, I saw something that I almost missed in my haste to rush into my day.

Picking up Libby’s toy, I tossed it for her to fetch. Glad to finally have my attention, she was only too happy to oblige. We played for only a few minutes, but it was all that was needed. Actually, it was all that she had really wanted to begin with.

She hadn’t wanted to monopolize all my time, she had only wanted to share in it for a few minutes before I left to begin my day. She just wanted to be with her master.

Just a few quick tosses of her toy and she was satisfied. And if the truth be told, so was I. For in stopping to play with her for those few moments, it caused me to pause and slow down, and enjoy a few simple, quiet moments before I stepped out into the day. 

And it made me realize something else too.

Just like Libby needed to be with her master for a little while, so did I. Just as she bought her most prizes possession to me as her master, so I should bring my best before my Master and spend a few moments in His presence. Not asking anything of Him, not seeking to gain something. not to monopolize His time with who I was, but to enjoy just being in His presence, enjoying who He is.

Funny how it took a ten pound ball of energy to remind me to not be so busy jumping into my day, that I forget to spend time with the One who made that day possible.

Its at times like this that I’m grateful God gave me a heart for dogs. For in having a dog lover’s heart, I also see my own Master’s heart for me.

             

Morning Gatherings and Everyday Miracles

This morning while traveling into work, the morning sky so captivated my attention that it simply took my breath away.

Winter here in Indiana means night lingers a lot longer than the day does, so I wasn’t suprised to see the sky still dark at an hour that normally would have been much lighter. But as I saw glimpses of light seeping through the darkness, I knew that daylight wasn’t too far off.

But it was the clouds that most captivated my attention.  Single clouds and clusters alike were moving in one accord as though they were of one mind. I watched them as they gathered at an invisible skyline. It was as though they stood waiting for an unseen guest.

I also watched in amazement as a flock of geese flying in a perfect V formation raced to join the clouds. It was as if heaven had called a morning meeting to give last minute instructions before everyone and everything took their perspective positions and places for the day.

And then I saw it.

In a blaze of the warmest hues of red that I’d ever seen, I watched as it began it’s climb above the earth. In no particular hurry, it slowly flooded the sky with breath taking shades of color that not even the most skilled artist could duplicate. At one point in it’s ascent, I could have sworn it paused just to make sure that all eyes were on it. Not in a selfish, self serving way, but in a way that spoke of unimaginable blesssings and promises.

As I sat taking in that majestic splendor, I felt as if anything was possible.

And when at last it sat, this awaited guest of the morning sky, and took it’s rightful place upon that throne room sky, I felt as if I was in the presence of royalty.  For in that moment nothing moved, nothing mattered. And I realized what an incredible gift I’d just been given.

At that morning gathering I was graced with seeing the miracle of a sunset that blessed me for my entire day. Like those clouds and geese, I too I had been given an unexpected blessing to start my day.

Now I know to some folks, theres nothing spectacular or exceptional about watching a sunrise or sunset for that matter. But as we move towards the New Year, let me encourage us all to purpose in our hearts to take a moment for our “sunrises” and small miracles that surround us everyday. Its so easy to let those moments go unnoticed and unacknowledged in our haste to get on with the business of living.

But within those precious moments are unimaginable gifts that can serve to bless us for a lifetime.

Use The Front Doors

The other night I had a dream.

Now usually I don’t even remember my dreams. Most of them are jumbled and tend to jump around from scene to scene, so its hard to remember exactly what they were even about.

But this dream I remember in great detail, and even in my dream state, I realized that someone was speaking to me and there was something I needed to learn.

In this dream I found myself desparately trying to get back to a certain corner where I could catch a bus that would take me home before nightfall came. But at many points in the dream, I’d find myself taking wrong turns or ending up on wrong streets that kept leading me further away from where I thought I needed to be.

It was like being in a virtual maze where there was no beginning or end in sight. I remember thinking how much I wanted that dream to end.

At one point in the dream, deciding to take a short cut through a building, I found myself inside a store that had already closed. I was approached by a guard who said , “We’ve been watching you on the monitor. You do know the store is closed right? Use the front doors.”

When I woke up from this endless dream, the guard’s words rang in my mind. ” Use the front doors.”

What could it mean?

After much reflection and thought about this dream, I realized that there were many messages in it specifically for me, but there is also a  message that we can all stand to be reminded of.

Sometimes I think we all make the mistake of thinking that we know the way that will lead us to where we want to be. We put so much pressure on our own shoulders to make our own way, that we fail to see that the right way is already within us. We don’t have to go back looking for it, we only need to use the front door.

Whereever we find ourselves in life, is where we’re probably supposed to be at that moment. Our locations in life don’t sneak up on God. He already knew we’d find ourselves there. Wherever there happens to be.

We don’t need to go back like I kept trying to do in this dream. I was convinced I needed to go back to a certain corner to catch the bus that would lead me home and out of the coming nightfall.

How often in life do we try to get back to a certain point or time in our life? Or how often do we go back to a certain way of living or thinking only to find that what we’re really looking for doesn’t lay waiting in our past?

Life is a continual journey. It doesn’t allow much for going backwards does it?  In our travels, we will make mistakes and make wrong turns. We will find ourselves in places we never would have imagined. We will have distractions and things that will detour us.

But if we learn from our wrong turns and mistakes, and allow ourselves to grow from them, then we’ll find that although they may have taken us out of our way, they were worth it.

“Use the front doors”.

The front door to your heart will always lead to the place you need to be. You don’t have to go looking for it, its right there with you.

In a world that says, do your own thing and make your own way, isn’t wonderful to know that standing at the “front doors” of our hearts is The Guardian of our lives who can truly lead and guide us on our journey through life. He watches all of us on His monitor, we are never out of His sight. And if our hearts are open to Him, it doesn’t matter where we find ourselves in life.

He’s the door that always leads us home.

The Christmas Tree

 

 

 The Christmas Tree

 

 

The other night. deciding it was officially time to begin Christmas at my house, I rescued my Christmas tree from it’s dark corner in my garage. After shaking and rattling it for non-paying tenants of spiders and creepy crawlies, I deemed it was safe to take the small tree into the house.

 

Though not very big by any stretch of the imagination, I have come to adore this small, 4-foot tree. A friend made it for me years ago, decorating it in an angel theme that I am quite proud of. And even though every year I promise myself I’m going to buy a large tree with all the trimmings, every year I put out my small tree, and each year I’m amazed at how it makes my home feel like Christmas.

 

As in previous years, the first thing I did was to plug the lights in to make sure they still worked. As the soft, white lights washed over the tree and illuminated all the ornaments and ribbon on the tree, it was as if that small tree came to life.

 

Each tiny light glistened as though it was a twinkling star charged with lighting the night. And the glow from their light found every corner of that room and filled it with a warmth that had not been there before. And perhaps it was just my imagination, but standing in the glow of that small tree, I felt as if I was standing in the presence of something a lot bigger than me.

 

And I realized in that moment that I could learn a lot from that tree.

 

You see, like that tiny tree, we too should let our light shine in such a way that we leave people better than when we first encountered them. Ours should be a glow that fills the dark places of other’s hearts and be the light that warms them through and through.

 

And like that small tree, it doesn’t take a lot to give a lot. We may not have as much as others or be a “big” person in the world’s eye, but we can give what we have so that someone else is blessed.  

 

And the good news is that we don’t have to wait until Christmas to do that or wait until someone takes us out of our rescued places like I did with my Christmas tree. We have the opportunity to bring light and love every day.

 

And in that way, the spirit of what Christmas is all about lives with us every day.

 

Merry Christmas everyone and remember during this most special Holiday Season and always

to let your light shine.

Thanksgiving: A Thanks that Gives

When I was in about the 5th grade, I remember having to write a composition on “What Thanksgiving means to me”. Back then I was thankful just to get good grades and to not have to sit next to the cute boy in class. I didn’t give a whole lot of thought to what Thanksgiving meant outside of what would be on our dinner table for the big holiday feast.

But this morning after someone bid me a “Happy Thanksgiving” and a smile, I thought about that long ago question. And for perhaps the first time, I allowed myself to answer it.

Thanksgiving Day in and of itself is a holiday. Its a tradition, that for us as Americans, began with the first Thanksgiving between the Pilgrims and Indians. Its a day set aside for family gatherings and lazy afternoons of watching the big game on television.

But when I give serious thought to what Thanksgiving really means to me, it goes beyond just the day and traditions of a holiday. For me, Thanksgiving is about a thanks that gives.

Its easy to be thankful when we have been given something. Receiving requires only our gratitude. But the true measure of our thanks isn’t only in what we have been given, but what we give to it .                                                                                            

I am blessed with many wonderful blessings, and for all of them I am truly grateful.  I have a wonderful family, great pets, loyal and caring friends, the love of a wonderful man, a good job, a loving church family, a growing and awesome relationship with Christ. I could go on and on.

And yet the real blessing isn’t just in my gratitude for them, or that I have them in my life. I did nothing to deserve any of them. Its only by God’s grace that they are a part of my life.

No, the real blessing comes when I give back to each of these blessings in a way that honors the gift they add to my life. More than being thankful for them, I strive to live a life that give thanks to them. For it is in  giving that I truly see how blessed I am.

Not the giving of money or material things. I can’t give what I don’t possess. But the giving of myself in such a way that blesses and adds to someone else. When I can give love it means I was blessed with love. When I can give compassion, it means someone blessed me with their compassion. When I give hope, it means, I was blessed with hope.

I don’t remember what I wrote for that 5th grade composition, or even if my teacher would remember me now. And honestly I know at the end of my life no one will stop and wonder what happened to my 5th grade writing assignment.

But if I have lived a life that honors all that I had been blessed with, then I know mine was a life well lived.

Happy Thanks Giving!

The Change

Every now and then something happens in life that stops you in your tracks, and makes you examine how you look at yourself and the world around you. It makes you take notice of those things you’d normally turn a blind eye to or tune deaf ears towards. It causes you to change in unexpected ways. 

This morning while listening to two young men talking, I made such a discovery.

 The  bus I ride each morning was quite full today. Many people were like me, and they were on their way to work. Now most mornings, most of us are lost in our own thoughts as we mentally prepare ourselves for the day that awaits us at the end of our bus ride, so usually the bus is pretty quiet. It was no wonder that I was held captive by these two young men’s conversation.

And held captive I was.

At first my ears were offended at their choice of words and the language they used. Being one who was taught to respect her elders, I couldn’t help but feel an outrage for their show of disrespect to me and the others sitting around them. It was as if they had no regards towards me or any of the other women in their presence or even the little one curled in his mother’s arms.

But as they talked. I listened.

I listened as they talked about other young men who had been in and out jail. I listened as they exchanged stories about prison life and the people they encountered there. I listened as they talked about the world they lived in that consisted of angry fists and heated words. A world colored by the deaths of other young people they had known.  A world that had been as unkind to them as they were to it. A world overshadowed with deception that had taught them survival instead of the delight of peace. A world filled with street wise advice meant to make them men but had instead robbed them of their youth.

As the words flowed from their lips and filled that quiet bus I did what only I could. As they talked, I listened.

And as I listened, I prayed.

I didn’t pray that their mouths would be filled with sweeter words. I didn’t pray that they would be more respectful to others. I didn’t even pray that they would stop talking.

I prayed that their hearts would be changed.

For in changing their hearts, they would change their world. And their world would become better because they would become better.

And I know thats true because really listening to them caused me to really pray for them.

Those two young men may never know that I prayed for them. They may never know the impact their conversation had on my heart. But I’d like to think that God allowed me to be there at that moment for a purpose.

Someone needed to change. Someone needed to pray. Someone needed to be heard.

“…if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. “       1 Chronicles 7:14

Considering the important things

Thus says the LORD of hosts, “Consider your ways!      Haggai 1:7

When I first began blogging, I wasn’t sure what I actually wanted to blog about. There are millions upon millions of blogs on the world-wide net, and many more being added every day. People use blogs for many reasons and through them they share an abundance of information about themselves and the world around them.

At first my motive for blogging was simply to enhance my writing skills. As someone aspiring to be a household name one day with the likes of Maya Angelou or T.C. Lewis, I knew that in order to become an exceptional writer I had to write. Blogging gave me the medium to do that and an audience to appreciate and read the things that I wrote.

But after careful consideration, I realize something else is more important.

Yesterday as I sat through a phenomenal young minister’s teaching, my eyes were opened in a most marvelous way. She taught on spiritual apathy and how easy it is for us to become so involved in the things we deem important that we forget about the things of God. As I sat there soaking in her words and her powerful message, I realized I had to consider my ways.

I realized that while God is not opposed to us having goals and aspirations in life and He isn’t opposed to us working on those things and relationships that He has blessed us with, those things should never take precedence over who He is and who He is to us. Nor should they become more important than what He has called each of us to do for His kingdom and His glory.

In a world where we are expected to be politically correct about our religious affiliations and beliefs, and where God has become just another “higher power”, it is now my hope and corrected motive that through my blogging and writings that someone who didn’t know Him yesterday will come to know Him today. And someone who knows Him, will come to know Him better. Not “Him” as a “higher power”, but as the one and true God, and that each of us might see and know Him in our every day lives.

I may never become a household name this way. and that’s okay. But if my walk through this thing called life  encourages and blesses others in such a way that it builds up the Kingdom of God, then I know I will have accomplished what He has for me.

And at the end of the day,  I have to consider that that has to be whats more important.